Husband

Kaley: "Mommy, I have a husband."

Me: "You do? Why didn't you invite me to the wedding?"

Kaley: "You were there, it's when I was doing ballet, remember?"

Me: "Oh, well, you didn't tell me that was your wedding."

Kaley: "Well, we got married when you weren't looking."

Me: "Is he a nice man?"

Kaley: "Yes, he's very nice.

Me: "Does he always tell the truth? That's very important."

Kaley: "Yes, he always tells the truth. And he's never tired after work, so he can always do the dishes."

Me: "Perfect."

Overheard

"Kaley, take the barrette out of your underwear."

~ Me

I'm Telling

"Kaley, if you tell on me one more time, I'm telling Mommy that you're being a tattletale."

~ Keira

Superheroes

Kaley: "Mommy, I want to be a superhero when I grow up."

Me: "OK. You can be Super Nina."

Kaley: "But how will I get to be super strong?"

Me: "Well, you eat healthy food, take your vitamins, and get lots of exercise."

Kaley: "Does that mean Daddy's a superhero because he is so strong?"

Me: "I suppose so. That would make him Super Dad."

Kaley: "I can't wait until he learns how to fly."

Clouds

Me: "Kaley, what do you think clouds are made out of?"

Kaley: "I think they're made out of squishiness."

Negotiations

Kaley: "Mommy, I want to go to Chili's."

Me: "That's not a nice way to ask for something."

Kaley: "How about this? If you don't take me to Chili's, then I'm going to go home, write your name on my doodle pad, and then put an X through it."

(pause)

Kaley: "I'm sorry, Mommy. Can we please go to Chili's?"

Make Believe

Kaley: "Mommy, I'm a doggy. Wanna know my name? You can spell it like this: M-A-O-R-L-S-T-E-R-F-L."

Me: "Oh, really? What does that spell?"

Kaley: "Spot."