Virgin Islands

"No, Kaley, it's bird-gen islands. Because the birds go there. Duh."

Coconut Bra

Said Keira of her Hawaiian coconut bra, "It looks like my nipples are wearing sunglasses."

BVI

Me: "Kaley, in about a month, I will be in the British Virgin Islands."

Kaley: "Is that where the leprechauns live?"

Me: "No, I think you're thinking of Ireland."

Kaley: "But Mommy, how are you going to talk to anyone there when you don't speak British?"

Moth

Kaley: "Mommy, if we were to kill that moth, its family would be on the news."
Me: "Why is that?"
Kaley: "Because when somebody dies, their family is usually on the news."

Love

Me: "Do you know how much I love you?"
Kaley: "Four hundred million sixty-eight."
Me: "No, eight hundred million sixty-five."
Kaley: "Well, I got the sixty right. I was close."

Height

I had to take Kaley to the doctor today, and I was just relaying the information to Randy. He asked me, "Did they say how tall she is?"

Kaley quickly set her hand on top of her head and said, "I'm this tall."

Training Her Well

Kaley: "Mommy, you don't like the Patriots, do you?"

Me: "No, not even a little bit. That's why I'm not watching the Super Bowl this year. Because the Patriots and the Giants are my two least favorite teams."

Kaley: "What does 'least favorite' mean?"

Me: "It means I don't like them at all. It's the opposite of favorite."

Kaley: "What's the Giants?"

Me: "New York."

Kaley: "Ew."

Me: "Exactly."

Kaley: "What's the Patriots?"

Me: "Boston."

Kaley: "Ew."

Me: "Exactly. I love you, child."