Toothpaste

"Kaley, why do you have an open tube of toothpaste under your shirt?"

~ Me

Tragedy

*CRASH*

Kaley: "OH NO! IT'S HORRIBLE!"

Me: "What happened?"

Kaley: "My markers fell, and now they're out of order!"

Witches

"Mommy, why are witches so ugly? I mean, if I had that kind of power, POOF! Rich and beautiful."

~ Kaley

Moo

Both girls: "Moooooo! Mooooooooo! Moo! Mooooo moo moo moo moooooo!"

Me: "No, I said, 'Hurry up, let's MOVE.'"

Lunch

"Kaley, where is your lunch box?"

"In my bed."

"Why?"

"I love lunch!"

Dessert

Staple

"Okay, who left a staple in the shower?"

~ Me

Candy

"I would like to shake the hand of the person who invented candy."

~ Kaley

Scary

The following three notes were slipped under my door. In this order.

________________________

Dear Mommy,
Um, when you are done can I talk to you?
Love, Keira
P.S. I AM SCARED OF KALEY!

Dear Mommy,
Wha? Why is Keira skared of me?
Love, Kaley

Dear Dad,
GIVE US A PIGGY BACK RIDE NOW!
Love, Kaley

Elves

"I'll bet elves like the elfabet."

~ Kaley

Catish

"Catish is the best language ever. I don't know why anyone even bothers with English. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow... see?"

~ Kaley

Cupcakes

"Keira, I need you to hurry up and learn how to run this cupcake business for me for a few minutes. I have to go to the bathroom really bad."

~ Kaley

Dreams

What Hilary Duff is singing:
"Hey now, hey now, this is what dreams are made of."

What Kaley is singing:
"Hey now, hey now, this is a dream tomato."

Rita's

Kaley: "Mommy, I just told Daddy, 'If you take both of us to Lowe's with you, then we can go to Rita's, and I know how much you like Rita's.'"

Me: "What did he say?"

Kaley: "He just said, 'Shut the door!'"

Me: "Kaley, you've got to stop bothering people in the bathroom."

Energy

"Mommy, I think the reason God gave boys so much extra energy is so they have enough to do the dishes."

~ Keira

Old

"Mommy, you were born in the NINETEENS!"

~ Keira

Chocolate

"Kaley, you have chocolate smeared all over your face."

"Yep. That's how you can tell I enjoyed it."

Habitat

Keira just told me all about an organization in Miami that builds homes in two weeks. It's called "Habitat of Humidity."

Speed What?

"Daddy, drive the speed lemon."

~ Kaley

Genius

Kaley: "Mommy, may I please have a snack?"

Me: "No. The answer to everything you ask for is going to be no until you finish cleaning your room."

Kaley: (short pause) "Mommy, may I please clean my room?"

Toothless

"Great. Now I can't scratch my lip with my teeth anymore."

~ Kaley, after losing tooth #6