The Best

Guitar

"What do you mean you got a spoon stuck inside your guitar?"

Sore Throat

"No, your sister did not make your throat hurt. She cannot make you yell at her."

Grocery Shopping

Kaley: "Mommy, I'm trying to make that lady see me."
Me: "You are? Why?"
Kaley: "Because maybe she will say that I'm cute."

Tonsillectomy

"Kaley, when I get my tonsils out I'll get to eat lots and lots of ice cream! And popsicles, and yogurt, and ice cream sandwiches. Don't bite my nose!"

~ Keira

Halloween

"Kaley, take your broom off of Keira's neck."

~ Me

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Backwards

Kaley: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Kaley: Banana.

Me: Banana who?

Kaley: Banana you glad I didn't say orange?

Change of Heart

Kaley: "Mommy, are the people who live next door our neighbors?"

Me: "Yes. They're very nice."

Kaley: "But don't take me to their house. I don't like them."

Me: "How do you know?"

Kaley: "I just know."

Me: "OK. Hey, do you know what they have in their back yard?"

Kaley: "What?"

Me: "A pool."

(pause)

Kaley: "Mommy?"

Me: "Yes?"

Kaley: "I love our neighbors."

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Love

Me: "You know what?"

Kaley: "What?"

Me: "I love you."

Kaley: "Yep."

Me: "Did you already know that?"

Kaley: "Yep."

Me: "How did you know?"

Kaley: "Because I'm a Kaley, and Kaleys know everything."

Overheard

"What do you mean Kaley MADE you color on your teeth?"

~ Randy

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And then I said:

"Kaley, please take the lettuce out of your shirt and throw it away."

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Kaley gems from today

"Superman is faster than Batman, but Batman is still prettier."

"Mommy, why aren't those ducks using the crosswalk?"

"Baby Pongo is tired. He got enough sleep, but then he got another tired."

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Mickey Mouse

"Mommy, why doesn't Mickey ever do the dishes? He has two sinks in his clubhouse. And he has dishes. But he never washes them. How will he get privileges if he doesn't do his chores?"

~ Kaley

Magic Tummy

"Mommy, my tummy is magic! It takes stuff that's yummy and delicious and turns it into stuff that's icky and smelly!"

~ Kaley

Spelling Bee

Kaley is spelling words now. She sounds things out every chance she gets. To help keep her interest piqued, Randy and I started staging spelling contests. One evening, after dinner, I gave each of my daughters a word to spell followed by a goldfish cracker for each correct answer. They did extremely well.

The next night, Randy brought home gummy bears. These were a source of intense excitement, and all through dinner both Keira and Kaley were begging for another spelling contest. Again, they aced the words.

Tonight, when dinner was finished, Kaley requested another spelling contest, but we were all stuffed from dinner and didn't want to overdo it. Before I could suggest rescheduling it to tomorrow, she decided that we should have the contest with imaginary gummy bears. She took over the hosting duties and began asking each of us to spell words. Every time we spelled them correctly, she rewarded us with an invisible treat. Randy exchanged one for a more favorable flavor once, but other than that, they were delicious.

On the second time around the table, she added a twist. Each correct answer merited both an imaginary gummy bear and a swig from our drinks. The next round came to one gummy bear and two swigs. The only misspelled word came from Randy, whose answer of "D-A-D-D-I-E" earned him a scolding from the 3-year-old.

What I want to know is this: why is my tiny little daughter creating drinking games?

Kitty

Kaley: "Mommy, look at the kitty!"

Me: "Awww, it's cute!"

Kaley: "If a truck runs over it, it will be doggy-shaped."

Me: "If a truck runs over it, it will be dead."

Kaley: "And also dirty."

Misheard

Kaley: "I'm looking for slugbugs."

Keira: "I'm looking for slugbugs, too."

Kaley: "Slugbug POO? ICK!!"

Kaley's First Haircut

Kaley is not a petite, demure girly-girl. She is an outspoken, stubborn child whose opinions are never vague.

So when she insisted repeatedly that she was not getting a haircut, and by repeatedly I mean a few times a month for over a year now, I just went with it. I have to tussle with her over enough things already. Since a haircut wasn't critical, I decided to wait until she was ready.

Yesterday, the girls and I went to the mall for a little girl time. When Kaley saw the family haircut place with the race car seats, she suddenly decided that a haircut was a great idea. I almost went in right then, but I knew Randy would want to be there for her first cut. So we decided to go today.

Before:

After:

After it dried:

And Keira's adorable summer bob:

Chip & Dale

Kaley: "Chip and Dale are mouses."

Keira: "No, Chip and Dale are chipmunks. Because they like to eat chips."

Illness

This exchange occurred just moments ago:

Randy: "Kaley, it's time for bed."

Kaley: "I wanna sleep in your bed!"

Randy: "No, not tonight. Daddy is sick, you're sick, and you need to sleep in your own bed tonight."

Kaley: "Waaaaaah!"

Me: "Kaley, you need to wait until everyone is all better."

Randy: "Let's go." (He picked her up, grabbed her blanket, and started walking toward her bedroom.)

Kaley: (sternly) "Daddy, you're getting your germs on my blanket."

Superhero

"Mommy, I want to be a superhero someday. With my blanket. And if you get stuck in a tree, I will come outside and fly up there and get you and you will be safe. And then if I get stuck in a tree, you can come outside and fly up there and save me. OK? Do you promise that?"

~ Kaley

My Little Entrepreneur

Out from the play room this morning came a little 3-year-old with a basket full of plastic vegetables.

"Mommy, would you like a cookie?" Kaley asked, handing me something that looked remarkably like a small, green bell pepper.

"Sure, I'd love a cookie," I replied. I took the "cookie," pretended to eat it, then handed it back to her. "Wow, Kaley, that cookie was delicious!"

"I'm going to sell them," she informed me.

"You are? That's a great idea! You're starting your own business?"

"Yes," she stated as she walked back toward the play room. "I'm going to sell them to my Grandma."