Potty Training

My mom was babysitting my 3-year-old cousin Nathaniel the other day when he said to her, "I'm a good boy. Good boys go pee pee and poo poo on the potty. NOT in mommy's plants."

Rock Star

Keira: (yelling) "I'M A ROCK STAR! ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!"

   (pause)

   (quietly) "I mean, if you'd like to rock..."

Dairy Queen

In the car on the way to Sports Authority:

Keira: "Which way is Dairy Queen?"
Me: "It's behind us."
Kaley : "Then let's go behind us to get to there!"

Sitting at the table at Dairy Queen:

Randy: "OK, we're almost done. Let's finish up."

Kaley: (sternly trying to figure out how to keep him from confiscating her uneaten ice cream) "Turn your head around, Daddy."

When I decided I was done with my ice cream, I set my cup on the other side of the table next to Randy's. When Kaley looked up from her ice cream, she looked at the table in front of me and saw that my cup had vanished. She looked somewhat horrified and said, "Mommy, you're not supposed to put the cup in your mouth."

Anatomy Lesson

Walking through the grocery store today, I was pushing the cart with Kaley riding in the seat. As we turned the corner onto an aisle, she suddenly reached up and grabbed both of my breasts and said loudly, "Mommy, what's that?"

Not wanting to get into an anatomy lesson in the middle of the store, I quickly turned away and tried a diversionary tactic. "That's my shirt. Do you want applesauce?"

She wasn't fooled. "No, mommy, I mean the balls under there."

Leaking

Keira: "Aunt Terri, Kaley leaked pee pee on the couch."

Terri: "Kaley leaked?"

Kaley: "I leaked on the couch."

Terri: "Oh, no! Well, excuse me. I need to use the bathroom before I leak."

Kaley: "Leaking is my job, Aunt Terri."

Excusable

It has been an oddly long day today, and I have one of my usual headaches. The girls wanted to write in their new journals, so I set them up at the table with their books and crayons, then I went to the couch and positioned myself to where I could see them fairly well.

Randy came out of the shower and sat down next to my legs, and I began telling him that Kaley said he was a good crayon sharpener. Chuckling, he laid his head down on my chest and hugged me.

Kaley: "Why is Daddy laying on Mommy?"

Keira: "It's OK, because he is a husband."

Kaley: "Oh."

Opposites

Me: "You girls slept in today, so we're having a late breakfast."

Keira: "Mommy, why can't we sleep out?"