Dreams

"Know how you can tell if it's a dream? If everything goes your way, it's definitely a dream. Because in real life it doesn't work that way."

~ Kaley

Cats

Kaley: Mom, when I grow up I'm going to have 5 cats. One grown up cat, and she's going to have kittens. Maybe even 6 cats, because she might have 5 kittens.

Me: Sometimes they have 6 kittens.

Kaley: I'd have seven cats!

Me: Yeah, don't plan on having a husband.

Kaley: Why not?

Me: Because he'd want to live in the house with you, too, and he probably won't want seven cats.

Kaley: (Indignant face, folded arms) Then I'll just live with them in the house by myself! I don't need him anyway!

Birthdays

"Daddy, birthdays aren't about money. They're about cake."

~ Kaley

Toothpaste

"Kaley, why do you have an open tube of toothpaste under your shirt?"

~ Me

Tragedy

*CRASH*

Kaley: "OH NO! IT'S HORRIBLE!"

Me: "What happened?"

Kaley: "My markers fell, and now they're out of order!"

Witches

"Mommy, why are witches so ugly? I mean, if I had that kind of power, POOF! Rich and beautiful."

~ Kaley

Moo

Both girls: "Moooooo! Mooooooooo! Moo! Mooooo moo moo moo moooooo!"

Me: "No, I said, 'Hurry up, let's MOVE.'"

Lunch

"Kaley, where is your lunch box?"

"In my bed."

"Why?"

"I love lunch!"

Dessert

Staple

"Okay, who left a staple in the shower?"

~ Me

Candy

"I would like to shake the hand of the person who invented candy."

~ Kaley

Scary

The following three notes were slipped under my door. In this order.

________________________

Dear Mommy,
Um, when you are done can I talk to you?
Love, Keira
P.S. I AM SCARED OF KALEY!

Dear Mommy,
Wha? Why is Keira skared of me?
Love, Kaley

Dear Dad,
GIVE US A PIGGY BACK RIDE NOW!
Love, Kaley

Elves

"I'll bet elves like the elfabet."

~ Kaley

Catish

"Catish is the best language ever. I don't know why anyone even bothers with English. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow... see?"

~ Kaley

Cupcakes

"Keira, I need you to hurry up and learn how to run this cupcake business for me for a few minutes. I have to go to the bathroom really bad."

~ Kaley

Dreams

What Hilary Duff is singing:
"Hey now, hey now, this is what dreams are made of."

What Kaley is singing:
"Hey now, hey now, this is a dream tomato."

Rita's

Kaley: "Mommy, I just told Daddy, 'If you take both of us to Lowe's with you, then we can go to Rita's, and I know how much you like Rita's.'"

Me: "What did he say?"

Kaley: "He just said, 'Shut the door!'"

Me: "Kaley, you've got to stop bothering people in the bathroom."

Energy

"Mommy, I think the reason God gave boys so much extra energy is so they have enough to do the dishes."

~ Keira

Old

"Mommy, you were born in the NINETEENS!"

~ Keira

Chocolate

"Kaley, you have chocolate smeared all over your face."

"Yep. That's how you can tell I enjoyed it."